NavyWife2012

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Navywife2012's favorite FMLs

Just a term of endearment

By Joe - 25/02/2009 19:05 - United States

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted, "I'm going to kill you and use your head as a hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

agreeclassic 32 025

vote type 1 45 746

By neighbor - 26/01/2014 13:08 - Australia - Mosman

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

agreeclassic 51 915

vote type 1 4 018

Oh no, please no

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

agreeclassic 58 322

vote type 1 5 490

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 00:33 - United States - Durham

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 26 949

vote type 1 52 985

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 15:43 - United States - South Salem

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

agreeclassic 48 889

vote type 1 7 444