jadalyn627

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Jadalyn627's favorite FMLs

Opportunist

By Mick - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

agreeclassic 865 438

vote type 1 95 092

By TalkDirtyToMe - 10/10/2014 19:33 - New Zealand

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

agreeclassic 46 136

vote type 1 7 490

By Anonymous - 18/09/2014 07:32 - Australia - Rosebery

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

agreeclassic 56 232

vote type 1 5 451

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

agreeclassic 46 858

vote type 1 5 293

Complaint

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 20:07 - United States

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and said that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered, "Fat girl problems." FML

agreeclassic 41 092

vote type 1 13 180