myusofwe

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

Today, I went to the DMV to get my license. I almost ran over my evaluator as he was walking to get in the car. FML

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

Dorito Man

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML