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I wont bite.. unless you want me to ;)

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Anonymous - 04/03/2017 18:00

Today, my biology teacher asked a question to the class and, after I had given an answer, he said to me, "You know, you have a good voice for radio. It's so deep." I responded with, "Do I? Thanks!" To which he replied with, "You also have a great face for radio." The whole class laughed. FML

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stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

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Big deal

Like mother like daughter - 24/02/2015 22:25 - United States - Aurora

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

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hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

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Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:56 - India - Chennai

Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

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