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Thursday 27 December 1990

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Gabriel Gonzalez

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highfive - 17/10/2014 01:27 - United States - Dedham

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

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Anonymous - 15/10/2014 17:07 - United States - Tuscaloosa

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

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Anonyme - 26/09/2014 06:56 - France - Saint-di

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

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