RandomPenguin

1592

Unknown, America

Randompenguin

Hey! I'm pretty random.... There's not much to know about me. I can't really say any interests, because they change a lot. Warning: I'm a bit of a grammar nazi, especially when it comes to there, their, and they're.

Randompenguin -

Randompenguin

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Randompenguin

Bathroom breakdown

heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

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Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

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Sexy time

Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

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Anonymous - 17/07/2013 16:02 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

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Anonymous - 13/07/2013 16:16 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

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