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lovers5201

yxesse

BirgitHerr...

BadAtPuns

2simz

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10nachoman...

michaelm12...

SorrowsRew...

toolazytot...

Mons_fml

EvilTurtle

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No, of course she's not…

so racist - 25/06/2020 02:02

Today, my mother burst into tears when I told her I was engaged. They were not tears of joy, however. She was crying because although she insists she’s "not" racist, she was crying because none of her grandchildren would be "pure." My fiancé is black. FML

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Call the waaaambulance!

boiled ladybits - 25/06/2020 14:02

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

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Emergency haircut

Anonymous - 26/06/2020 02:02

Today, I told off my crazy sister-in-law after she made my wife cry for putting on weight during lockdown. Then, as I was sleeping in my armchair, the crazy bitch snuck into the house and cut off every single one of my meter-long dreadlocks. Now I got a BALD HEAD. FML

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Bitch ass move

Anonymous - 26/06/2020 05:05

Today, my partner and I had bought a short bus to convert to an RV, which is done and we are now ready to move in. That night, after I’m fully out of my place, she informs me she has feelings for my roommate and it’s something she must explore. I'm now homeless and they are traveling around in the conversion. FML

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Zoomers zooming

Anonymous - 26/06/2020 08:08

Today, I was blowing my husband when we heard that distinctive shutter noise, and we realised our daughter had taken a photo of us. Apparently, she meant to take a video because she knows a website where any kind of "spying on people having sex" video will earn her $50. FML

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